tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.comments2009-03-20T11:04:35.033-04:00Lainer's Worldlainerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12936794048995204346noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-34109382577346840302009-03-20T11:04:00.000-04:002009-03-20T11:04:00.000-04:00This is such an historic time in Massachusetts wit...This is such an historic time in Massachusetts with the state schools closing and the Department of Mental Retardation finally changing their name.<BR/><BR/>You do great work and are a part of an amazing time. I can cope with the crankies - as long as they don't hang around too long. <BR/><BR/>Life is fragile which is why it is important to tell those we love how we feel.<BR/><BR/>You are loved.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09078664441223408424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-84252432854901362402009-02-26T11:03:00.000-05:002009-02-26T11:03:00.000-05:00That is just way to cool. You girls rock !! (I use...That is just way to cool. You girls rock !! <BR/><BR/>(I use the word god because it is shorter then Higher power great spirit etc.)<BR/><BR/>I agree with your thoughts on religion. I was a born again Christian at one point in my life. The biggest breakthrough I had on my spritual journey was separating Religion from 'God'.<BR/><BR/>Religion is when a human being gets between you and 'god'. Spirituality is when you have a personal direct connection.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-39813067071363662382009-02-26T07:55:00.000-05:002009-02-26T07:55:00.000-05:00As you can see from my blogs my "faith" or "belief...As you can see from my blogs my "faith" or "belief system" has wandered all over the map. For right now, this day, I am just believing in people and their energy and their spirit. For tomorrow, who knows. Part of my difficulty with the whole God concept was watching people I knew who so fully believed in God and forced that belief on everyone around them, especially their children, and lived pretty rotten mean lives. And watching the hatred that the Christian right has espoused for so many years. Hatred in the name of God just doesn't work for me. Oh, it's easy to say they misinterpret the scriptures, but there are so many of them. They scare the hell out of me. <BR/><BR/>Yes, we have a daughter. Terry and I adopted a daughter when she was full grown, working, and housebroken. She is an amazing woman and we love her to pieces. And yes, we are going to be grandparents. How cool is that?lainerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12936794048995204346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-5274363854473681702009-02-26T01:09:00.000-05:002009-02-26T01:09:00.000-05:00>>> YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER ????? I DIDN'...>>> YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER ????? I DIDN'T KNOW !!!! What's her name ? How old is she ? Oh.. and congratulationsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-51660998756439174622009-02-26T01:07:00.000-05:002009-02-26T01:07:00.000-05:00Damn girl there were a lot of questions in that po...Damn girl there were a lot of questions in that post. I used because I didn't like the way/who I was. But I was always fascinated by it. From an early age I used what ever I could. @ Rick's wedding I found sugar packets, I stuffed them in my mouth by the handful. In Third grade a Drug Education Officer showed us a display board with all sorts of drugs and pills pasted on it, the memory of excitedly wondering what each one was, how they would make me feel, the first time I drank I drank till I puked. These are the clearest memories I have. I was born an addict. <BR/><BR/>As for 12 stepping, I too had a hard time with God. Then one day someone asked me a question, "Ray, has anything ever happened to you which caused you to say God was looking out for you. Ever have something not happen to you that by all rights should have ?" Well yea of course it has. He told me. "Well what do you think that was...... Luck ?" I knew it wasn't. " Ray, you don't have to name it, you don't have to put it in a box. Whatever it was, that is your higher power" <BR/>To this day I have still not named it. I can't define it. It was there when I was doing everything I could to ignore, to go against it. Now that I was paying attention why would it leave...<BR/><BR/>In many ways I am happy that I am addicted to drugs (and women, old tools, sex, ...) and not food. I can't imagine have to do one hit of crack, and ONLY ONE, three times a day....<BR/><BR/>Love ya Cuz....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-56714006222381661022009-02-19T12:07:00.000-05:002009-02-19T12:07:00.000-05:00Well, another way of looking at this is to focus o...Well, another way of looking at this is to focus on socialization and what we learn from our parents and extended family when we are young. When a parent uses an unhealthy behavior to cope - for example - using alcohol or drugs, then you are predisposed to behave the same way and learn that feelings of stress, anger, loss of control, sadness, etc. are not really okay and you will work hard to find a way to cope with those uncomfortable feelings, often relying on what you learned growing up. May be alcohol and/or drugs, but could also be other behaviors that help to mask feelings, like gambling, sex or food, etc. <BR/><BR/>Some of us are able to avoid this trap, but most of us have some behavioral coping strategy that we use - it's just that not all of them are as harmful to us.Terry Spier-Kalmarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04442498484115791161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-79892321144077095492009-02-19T10:01:00.000-05:002009-02-19T10:01:00.000-05:00Man, there are some GOOD comments here. I agree, w...Man, there are some GOOD comments here. <BR/><BR/>I agree, we inherit a genetic predisposition towards addiction, but there are lots of other factors as well--too many to list here.<BR/><BR/>As for addicts being weak, HELL NO. I was an addict for many years, and I worked with addicts once I recovered. We are an amazingly strong bunch of souls--resourceful, determined and smart(sometimes TOO smart). I am always amazed at what addicts can accomplish when they put their energies into healthy pursuits.<BR/><BR/>Now, if only I could do something about my little cheesecake problem....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-87535796158889039562009-02-18T22:56:00.000-05:002009-02-18T22:56:00.000-05:00I'm like Alan -- got a fear of the hard stuff, wou...I'm like Alan -- got a fear of the hard stuff, wouldn't want it to start affecting my life. But i'll have a drink just about every night. That's probably because i'm addicted to my job ;)brian_252https://www.blogger.com/profile/06563286462565274466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-74298892529959239342009-02-18T20:29:00.000-05:002009-02-18T20:29:00.000-05:00This is Alan. All I know is that I avoid like the...This is Alan. All I know is that I avoid like the plague anything addictive. I even refuse to drink coffee. And I'm always thinking that my life will be over if I give in to anything for an instant. Sometimes I think it is because I met too many heroin addicts in the 60's. But mostly I think it is genetic, and I've got it as bad as the rest of the family. I'm just not actually addicted to anything - unless you count peanuts, music, theatre, sci-fi, books, sudoko, or anything else that keeps me too occupied to be tempted by other things.<BR/>My adopted son, Thomas, has it worse than anyone in our family, and his is definitely genetic. I went back to Bucharest 2 years after adopting him to find his mom, and she already reeked of alcohol at Noon. He was drinking and popping anything without fear by the time he was twelve. He is now twenty and has been to jail three times for his addictions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-70924099195216402712009-02-18T12:11:00.000-05:002009-02-18T12:11:00.000-05:00As a member of your extended family I am amazed at...As a member of your extended family I am amazed at how much alike we all are. Sexually, spiritually and intellectually we are so a like its scary. And this has followed through several generations.<BR/>If I got the family tree correct you are one or two behind me and my children are one ahead. And still it follows the family.<BR/><BR/>I am proud of our idiosyncrasies. Long Live diversity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-63912824520100576972009-02-18T12:09:00.000-05:002009-02-18T12:09:00.000-05:00No suggestions. Just commiseration. Which one of u...No suggestions. Just commiseration. Which one of us was it that said when our family gets together it IS a 12 step meeting? Was that my dad?<BR/><BR/>It's genetic. This is a really interesting website: <BR/>http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/<BR/><BR/> Also, a person's brain is structured during adolescence for relationships, so if their parents or siblings are addicted, they're building neural pathways to respond to others who are addicted and they're not formatting their minds to interact with normal healthy people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-19802573200583028402009-02-18T12:05:00.000-05:002009-02-18T12:05:00.000-05:00I believe we did we inherit a genetic disposition ...I believe we did we inherit a genetic disposition towards addiction. For myself I never felt like I fit in anywhere. The very first time I drank It changed.<BR/><BR/>Are we all looking for something we're missing? <BR/>How can I put this ? You Bet Cha we is.<BR/> <BR/>Are we all weak? LOL not at all. This addict was completely dedicated to my drug of choice. We all were. Getting and using and finding ways and means to get more was the toughest job I ever had. <BR/>Compared to that staying clean is simply, and I don't have to do it myself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-64773687952990557042009-02-02T21:44:00.000-05:002009-02-02T21:44:00.000-05:00I wish I knew.... but you know I have much the sam...I wish I knew.... but you know I have much the same issues and similar thoughts..... But I know love in the present makes me feel special.... so I try to live in the moment....<BR/>BYW Gail.... only 1/2 a pint?????<BR/>WindeWindehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07781296765977500882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-76679008610363152462009-01-31T20:09:00.000-05:002009-01-31T20:09:00.000-05:00I am not a religious woman, I don't believe in a h...I am not a religious woman, I don't believe in a higher power or a goddess and my jury is out on the whole "afterlife" concept, although I'd like to think that there IS something after we're gone, and that it involves lots of cheesecake and snorkeling in the South Pacific.<BR/><BR/>But I am a SPIRITUAL woman, and I know that something is stirred within me when I walk through the woods, or smell puppy breath, or see a beautiful sunset. I have attended the funerals of loved ones and ached deeply, but it had nothing to do with religion.<BR/><BR/>In the end, the only thing I'm SURE of is that we have THIS moment...so why waste time worrying about things we have no control over??<BR/><BR/>I don't know if this helps you on YOUR journey.<BR/><BR/>But if it gives you permission to eat half a pint of Ben and Jerry's, though....well, MY work here is done.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-27751178143881232442009-01-26T17:33:00.000-05:002009-01-26T17:33:00.000-05:00You've been tagged.Check out my blog for details!T...You've been tagged.<BR/><BR/>Check out my blog for details!<BR/><BR/>TerryTerry Spier-Kalmarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04442498484115791161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-17650891244760495372009-01-19T11:59:00.000-05:002009-01-19T11:59:00.000-05:00I did not mean to disparage Canada, at all. I am ...I did not mean to disparage Canada, at all. I am so used to the heartlessness of America's systems, that it felt perversely pleasant to know we don't have the market cornered on heartlessness. My partner is Canadian and we are actually toying with moving there some time in the near future. Thanks for the information. I'll try to be more careful.lainerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12936794048995204346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-2114585732962555572009-01-15T15:45:00.000-05:002009-01-15T15:45:00.000-05:00I'm just here from Chewing the Fat, where I saw yo...I'm just here from Chewing the Fat, where I saw your comment about being disillusioned about Canada. I had to stop by and clarify, to defend my country - We have plenty of problems up here, to be sure, but the Barry Baker incident happened in the UK...same place as the Brent Martin murder in 2007.Shanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10704810407872873565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-29293022962861633702009-01-14T12:28:00.000-05:002009-01-14T12:28:00.000-05:00Congratulations to you and her!Congratulations to you and her!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-91740667309991655262009-01-10T16:27:00.000-05:002009-01-10T16:27:00.000-05:00Maybe a different way of looking at this would be ...Maybe a different way of looking at this would be better for you - rather than a lack of discipline, a need to better organize your time. If I don't keep myself organized around my tasks for the day, it is much easier for me to forget about it. Maybe figure out a plan - like before I eat dinner, or when I first wake up in the morning, etc. You get my drift. You may also want to consider that it wasn't realistic to expect that you would write every day - maybe you are more a "when the mood hits me" kinda gal.Terry Spier-Kalmarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04442498484115791161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-18708527321465494952008-12-26T18:05:00.000-05:002008-12-26T18:05:00.000-05:00Well, I made a huge Christmas goose and plum puddi...Well, I made a huge Christmas goose and plum pudding and all my favorite relatives were here and we exchanged wonderful gifts and I got EVERYTHING I wanted.<BR/>Then we roasted chestnuts, sang carols, and drank egg nog.<BR/><BR/>Gotta run. The nurse is about to administer tonight's meds.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029416990808176472.post-32664557183643435932008-12-24T20:04:00.000-05:002008-12-24T20:04:00.000-05:00Well said sweetie. It has been great setting a ne...Well said sweetie. It has been great setting a new tradition together. I appreciate you and all we have. And yes, it does feel right.Terry Spier-Kalmarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04442498484115791161noreply@blogger.com