I come from a long line of addicts. If I smoke, I smoke a zillion cigarettes. If I eat, I eat everything I can find. If I drink, I drink until I fall down. What the hell?
My parents generation had major addiction issues -- food, booze, pills. You name it. My generation of cousins is littered with gambling addicts, coke heads, alcoholics, overeaters, co-dependents, smokers. Many of us have recovered, even if for a while, but we continue to struggle. Some of us have died from our addictions. Many of us have married addicts of one sort or another. Some more than once.
What is this about? Did we inherit this genetic flaw? Are we all looking for something we're missing? Are we all weak?
Hey, Kalmars and our descendents, jump in on this one. Any clues? Any tips? Should we start our own Kalmar 12 Step Program?
My PSW
3 years ago
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I believe we did we inherit a genetic disposition towards addiction. For myself I never felt like I fit in anywhere. The very first time I drank It changed.
ReplyDeleteAre we all looking for something we're missing?
How can I put this ? You Bet Cha we is.
Are we all weak? LOL not at all. This addict was completely dedicated to my drug of choice. We all were. Getting and using and finding ways and means to get more was the toughest job I ever had.
Compared to that staying clean is simply, and I don't have to do it myself.
No suggestions. Just commiseration. Which one of us was it that said when our family gets together it IS a 12 step meeting? Was that my dad?
ReplyDeleteIt's genetic. This is a really interesting website:
http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/
Also, a person's brain is structured during adolescence for relationships, so if their parents or siblings are addicted, they're building neural pathways to respond to others who are addicted and they're not formatting their minds to interact with normal healthy people.
As a member of your extended family I am amazed at how much alike we all are. Sexually, spiritually and intellectually we are so a like its scary. And this has followed through several generations.
ReplyDeleteIf I got the family tree correct you are one or two behind me and my children are one ahead. And still it follows the family.
I am proud of our idiosyncrasies. Long Live diversity.
This is Alan. All I know is that I avoid like the plague anything addictive. I even refuse to drink coffee. And I'm always thinking that my life will be over if I give in to anything for an instant. Sometimes I think it is because I met too many heroin addicts in the 60's. But mostly I think it is genetic, and I've got it as bad as the rest of the family. I'm just not actually addicted to anything - unless you count peanuts, music, theatre, sci-fi, books, sudoko, or anything else that keeps me too occupied to be tempted by other things.
ReplyDeleteMy adopted son, Thomas, has it worse than anyone in our family, and his is definitely genetic. I went back to Bucharest 2 years after adopting him to find his mom, and she already reeked of alcohol at Noon. He was drinking and popping anything without fear by the time he was twelve. He is now twenty and has been to jail three times for his addictions.
I'm like Alan -- got a fear of the hard stuff, wouldn't want it to start affecting my life. But i'll have a drink just about every night. That's probably because i'm addicted to my job ;)
ReplyDeleteMan, there are some GOOD comments here.
ReplyDeleteI agree, we inherit a genetic predisposition towards addiction, but there are lots of other factors as well--too many to list here.
As for addicts being weak, HELL NO. I was an addict for many years, and I worked with addicts once I recovered. We are an amazingly strong bunch of souls--resourceful, determined and smart(sometimes TOO smart). I am always amazed at what addicts can accomplish when they put their energies into healthy pursuits.
Now, if only I could do something about my little cheesecake problem....
Well, another way of looking at this is to focus on socialization and what we learn from our parents and extended family when we are young. When a parent uses an unhealthy behavior to cope - for example - using alcohol or drugs, then you are predisposed to behave the same way and learn that feelings of stress, anger, loss of control, sadness, etc. are not really okay and you will work hard to find a way to cope with those uncomfortable feelings, often relying on what you learned growing up. May be alcohol and/or drugs, but could also be other behaviors that help to mask feelings, like gambling, sex or food, etc.
ReplyDeleteSome of us are able to avoid this trap, but most of us have some behavioral coping strategy that we use - it's just that not all of them are as harmful to us.