Christmas Eve

well, Terry and I started our own tradition, finally. For years we have tried to accommodate my recollections of what the Holidays used to be (though the reality is very different from what I would like to remember) , and her family's lack of traditions, and our daughter's recollections of her Christmas's past. This year we spent the day home alone, though our daughter did drop by to give us some holiday cookies. Mostly we did silly little chores and I sat starting at the tv in anger 'cause there was no NCIS marathon. But this evening we had our new tradition -- we had a lobster dinner, just us, while watching a movie on dvd. And the rest of the evening will be spent watching more movies, or playing on our computers, and just being in a good space. This feels right. And tomorrow we'll have a nice dinner, of what we want, not what we used to, or should have. And we'll spend the day in our jammies watching L Word on dvd. Maybe we're finally getting it right. Or maybe it's I'm finally getting it right. You can't really combine the old with the new. The past with the present. Today with tomorrow. I have to let go of looking for the Leave It To Beaver life, and relish what I have. I have a lot.