What will the new year bring....

I don't have a clue. I am hoping the world will be a better place, that this country will once again resume it's place of moral strength, that I will find some discipline for my life, and that I will also find peace with whom I am. I always have struggled trying to be whoever those I am around want me to be. Maybe this is the year I "settle" for who I am and realize that I am a good person. And stop trying to accommodate.

I have been on a spiritual wandering path most of my life. (Once I got away from the religious path of my mother) Think of a religion and I have tried it, studied it, and rejected it. A few months ago I decided to shake the guilt and abandon my wanderings and just go with a suspension of belief. No Wicca, Judaism, Methodism, Bahai, Presbyterian, nothing. Zero, zip, zilch. And you know what, that has felt right. Oh, there have been times of stress when I've fallen back into looking for something beyond me to beg or bargain with, or blame. But I have caught myself pretty quickly and figured out what happened, or what I had to do, or just realized that's the way things were going to go. I have no idea if I'll be in a place of no-belief forever, or even next week, but right now it feels like I am ok.

I sometimes think what led me here has something to do with the horrible abuses of the religious right here in this country. All seem to be judged by what they believe. And it has to be a belief in the right god. The government in this country has used a belief in Jesus as the total test of a person -- and damn to hell anyone who doesn't believe that way.

Well, we'll see what the new year brings. Stay tuned.